By Tejal Rathod, 3TP SLP 2018
Caption: Author at Work, eDC HQ Office in Mumbai – India.
A mentor for me is someone providing directional guidance, agnostic of analysing its impact. Mentor, the word rings a bell and reminds us of the one who has made a significant impact in our lives. However, we may encounter many mentors throughout our lives, in various stages, and often in various forms. From my experiences and encounters, I have classified them into five groups— Direct Mentors, Indirect Mentors, Implicit Mentors, Transformational Mentors, and Intuitive Mentors.
1. Direct Mentors are those who are consciously chosen by you. E.g. teachers, coaches, influential personalities, etc. As I have not been lucky enough to come across many worthy direct mentors, I will move on without sharing any comments here.
2. Indirect Mentors are those who come from your surroundings and not necessarily are accepted as mentors but inadvertently share indirect bits of guidance just by being themselves. These may include colleagues, acquaintances, friends, knowledgeable personalities, professionals (like authors, scientists, experts, etc.), including strangers. My learning from indirect mentors wasn’t active but with my observation skills, I paid attention to what someone shared or did which resonated or compelled me to think about it. For example, as I grew in my professional expertise and developed my unique position, there was undue competition, comparison, and envy at play coming from the circle of peers and senior leaders. In such situations, how people in my immediate surroundings including customers communicated or behaved inspired me to keep a positive perspective and understanding during any challenging situation. At other times, I sought knowledge from the industrial-organisational psychologists of the West, and from the books of medical professionals to understand work dynamics and its implication on workplace well-being.
Caption: Author at Work with Ex-Colleagues, Amazon Web Services (AWS) Office in Singapore.
These internal reflections and questions have taught me how to cultivate a sustainable habit of introspection and spending time in solitude to reflect. It has made me more attentive, observant, engaged, and stay open through any seemingly small or important conversations or encounters; making me feel more present and actively connecting with my surroundings. It has also helped me to discern what is meaningful curiosity, and how and when to exercise it. From indirect mentors, I could grow by focusing on building intellectual, relational, and worldly skills to survive through daily dealings and make a foundation for a stable life.
3. Implicit Mentors are those who are closely related to you and are an integral part of your life including parents, grandparents, a few close friends, extended family, etc.
Caption: Author with her Biological & Extended Family in Mumbai – India.
Implicit mentors are the ones who have contributed to the foundation of my fundamental sense of identity, personality, and belief systems. At the same time, they are also the ones who have presented situations for me to cultivate my internal strength, courage, and self-assurance. These are not the encounters I would have liked to experience as they involved bullying and shaming my accomplishments, talents, potential, and family background. Being young and immature, I did not know how to handle such envy and negative projections of people’s insecurities and I ended up internalising a lot of negativity that affected my sense of identity. However, these very situations compelled me to focus on the short-term goals at hand, embrace challenges, seek fundamental questions about the purpose of human life, and intentionally practise value-based behaviours. These seemingly difficult rejections were crucial in pushing me to be open to meeting my Transformational Mentor in the process. From Implicit mentors, I could change by focusing on building cultural, intellectual, and relational skills; teaching me what not to do and how to attain things that made me happy.
4. Transformational Mentors are those mentors who choose you before you even know it. These are typically the ones who make an influential impact on one’s life, changing it for the better. They share illuminating knowledge that just does not stick but also makes one evolve for the better – changing their life inside out and giving a higher perspective, to live a more compassionate and meaningful life. These are also typically the mentors who encourage one’s transformational capacity and guide their due course of life through dedicated advancement. In my context, while I was seemingly happy with my worldly progress I constantly felt empty within. During this time of dissatisfaction, the guidance that elevated my perspectives and vision came from the teachings of Lord Shree Krishna as detailed in the book Bhagavad As It Is Gita by A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda. This life guide taught me to think deeply and holistically, and question knowledge that is thoughtfully curated for human beings. This was transformational as it helped me keep going inward yet continue working outward. It shaped my worldview more inclusively, cultivated maturity in my behaviour, and helped me develop values, believe in a long-term vision, and know the path to pursue to be happily satisfied. From transformational mentors, I could thrive by focusing on building deep intelligence and a spiritual sense of life which taught me what to do and how to feel satisfied with whatever I had.
5. Last but not least is the Intuitive Mentor, which is one’s internal capacity to guide oneself daily or during turbulent or challenging times. Above all, the Intuitive mentor residing within me has been a tonally mellow yet full of intelligent voice that always knew what direction I needed to choose, especially during the times when I encountered a fork in the road. But I could only hear it, put emphasis on it, and follow it assuredly as I matured in the spiritual aspects of life. From my intuitive mentor, I could evolve by further attuning to my purpose and being integrated with my surroundings.
Throughout the life course so far, I have encountered the most amount of learning through these five types of mentors. Based on time, place, and circumstances all have played a crucial role in shaping who I am as an individual today! From my learnings, I do reckon that even if anyone does not find mentors directly, they can take it upon themselves to keep the grit, determination, and devotion going, putting in the effort, and focusing on radical yet incremental personal growth then there is a high likelihood that they have hope to encounter all the guidance they truly seek to succeed in their endeavours.
Do you have mentors falling into these classifications? What do you learn from them actively? How is your learning transforming your life and impacting your surroundings? Are you practising being mindful of your mentoring experiences? I would love to hear from you and share your experiences at authortejalrathod@gmail.com.
Tejal Rathod is an award-winning expert success coach, author, speaker and founder at eDC (www.elementsdcoach.com), having over two decades of diverse corporate work experience.
